That Clown
by zulka
Summary: [TalaxJulia Oneshot] Tala's thoughts on Julia and why he won't let her go away...


**Disclaimer**: I don't own Beyblade or its characters. If this story looks or sounds like anything you have written or read it is purely coincidental. This is the disclaimer for the entire story.

**That Clown  
**_Beyblade Fanfiction  
__by: Angel del Silencio  
__TalJul pairing_

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That clown…expects to make my life chaos and then walk away. Well she's got another thing coming. My emotions are running like a roller coaster and she just sits there smiling like nothing.

That clown with her cheerfulness and annoying little traits I have come to like. That clown with her personality has been able to conquer a barren frozen land. I just don't understand why I let her be the shining sun. The ice is melting and I'm becoming paranoid. I feel like a type of paradigm at the museum…always being watched by her.

That clown…comes and leaves not knowing that she's causing a catastrophe.

That clown whispers my name with such tenderness and question that she makes me doubt my own existence…as if she is calling for a ghost, a ghost that is me and yet doesn't exist. That clown laughs and talks of spring with hope and love that slowly makes me sick and yet…I can't stop listening.

She is everything and nothing, a mixture of winter and summer with a bit of thunder. She is a chaos that brings order to my life. She plays the strings of guitars at night touching and breaking my soul. Her tears are my tears only more coldly.

That clown slips away like water and cleanses my heart and try as I might I can never hold her because between my fingers she is no more.

She takes and breaks everything I hold…but somehow it always ends up being better. Her cruelty lies in her sweetness and love. That clown sends smiles my way and greetings and then turns away.

That clown doesn't know that with every step she takes away from me I am no more. My spirit breathes the words she utters and as the clouds drift by and by I know that I'm losing. She talks of Spain and of the beauty of Cibeles and el Palacio de Cristal where if it where a fantasy she would live.

She breathes and I become air.

It is she who loves and I who curse my luck while she laughs. Her eyes become green pools that make me drown and she just watches as I slowly become lifeless. Less and Less is what I am…becoming nothing but sub-atomic particles that revolve around her scent.

That clown passes a brush through her long brown hair and thinks that perhaps she is wasting her time. That clown has become everything that it breaks my heart.

She is a super hero from my forgotten favorite comic book. She is the light that comes through my curtains and somehow I've allowed her to stay. She plays with fire and burns my hands instead of hers.

That clown makes my world surreal. She plays the vihuela de mano and makes my spirit cry with the light. She is my essence and I hers. She slips through me like a ghost and sings in my ear of night and starry skies.

That clown would trade her heart to see me smile.

She kisses with cruelty leaving me on the border of death…smiling at my misery of not having her lips next to mine. She breathes in me and gives me strength to face the overbearing world. That clown is a ship that takes me far away from the memories of an abandoned child.

She mocks me with her laughing eyes and dancing beyblade. That clown makes me feel worthy whenever I feel like the ocean waves call out to me.

That clown shares her beautiful white wings with me and takes me flying. Her orange bangs obscure her eyes and it is me who cries her tears. She wants me to take her to Barcelona to visit the Palau de la Musica Catalunyana. That clown doesn't care that I can't speak a single word in Spanish or Catalan. The romance languages don't mean much to her as long as we can talk and understand.

She sings her siren songs and makes me fall to the deep end of the oceans and somehow I manage to survive only to fall once more. That clown makes my days worth living and dreams worth achieving.

She whispers to my soul and waltzes out the door with my heart and spirit as a shower of electricity assaults my body. And somehow I find that I don't care.

That clown wants to make the most of life and yet she stays beside me holding me whenever I become blind. That clown plays and wears a mask and yet when she looks at me I see no secrets and no lies.

With the paint in her face and her clown hat reminds me of a child that I must protect…even though it seems it is she who instead protects me. Somehow I don't really mind. Others might deem me weak but with her at my side I'm everything but.

She knows who I am and what I am…and somehow she even knows what I will become and she tells me in those long nights as she runs her fingers through my red hair while a fire rages in the chimney spreading warmth throughout.

Perhaps I'm already lost and I haven't noticed it…but I don't think it would really make a difference because I find I like it this way…

That clown tells me she cares and my breath catches in my throat. And as my fingers run through her soft brown hair I say I'm sorry. Because with a simple touch and a simple look she blows me away and I become the air and foam of the sea. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

My life is a watercolor canvas of green, orange, and gold with rising suns and electric storms and every once in a while the flurry of snow…that clown has made it so.

It is hard to bear her soft spoken words of farewell and pain rips me apart inside when she smiles and a funeral begins in my brain. That clown thinks I'm going to let her go. But she's so engraved in me that it would be like a part of me dying if she ever walks out that door. And at this moment I'm letting her know…that my life has become so much more ever since she walked in through that door.

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the end

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**Author's Note**: My second TalaxJulia! lol I really like the way this one-shot turned out and reviews will really be appreciated. Well at the moment I'm supposed to be studying Japanese art but I found this in my computer and decided to finish it. And so here it is…hope you guys liked it!

-angel del silencio


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